My three men

My three men

In a lonely night when the writer express
How shitty life became after a huge game,
It always happens after de glory,
The sadness come and joy goes.

I'm remembering those days of glory
To tell my self those will be back and better.
Where is my love?
How is that I spread the voice of ecstasies?

I found out that non of the men I love,
Love me at all.
How is that when they feel to loose they retain me,
But when they have me,
They throw me away with sign language!

The man I love the most is a boy still,
He is 15 years old,
And no matter what I do to him,
He till thinks I'm no worth it as a sister.

The other man I love the most,
I know him since I was born,
He had cried when I've left before so many times,
He thinks always I'm not at his side,
Even I try to prove him that I'm not against him ever.
He doesn't understand that As I love his ex wife I love him too.
But till, he never feels proud of his only daughter.

The next man I love the most,
Seems so similar to the last two.
I loved him before I met him,
But he cant understand it.
I survived a time because God sent him to rescue me,
And....he prefers to stay away.
I love him with all my heart,
But I have to deal with it....

"no men who I love the most, loves me back"

God pays better when this happens, but....
For now, I'm expressing that I wish to feel a little love from them...

Father, didn't notice me when I saved your ass from prison giving you my friendship?
Brother, didn't notice me when I intervened with your principal so you could pass the year and stay in school?
Sweetheart, didn't notice me when I stayed at home when your knee got hurt,
So you could have someone to talk with?

How's that nobody understand what they have when they have it, till they loose it?

I'll never go away,
but at a moment like this,
I wish to disappear,
As you three did.

Sweetheart, I understand that distance is important,
But I understand too, that I cant ask you to be better.

Father, I understand that I need to seed first so I can receive,
But I understand too, that I cant ask you to seed before I do.

Brother, I understand that one self is first,
But I understand too, that love is living for the others.

My men, I love you three....
But somehow you look the same for me,
You behave the same,
And act the same.

I guess Its not all about me,
So simple as living for live.
I can tell is all my fault,
But I'll never go.
As you have done.

Lidia Aviles
August 7, 2008