En su camino 

Estoy comenzando a creer,

Mas de lo que había pensado seré.

Hoy entendí parte de mi propósito de vivir,

Hoy comprendí la libertad del Dios viviente.

"Abre tu boca por el mudo

en el juicio de todos los desvalidos"

"Abre tu boca, juzga con justicia,

y defiende la causa del pobre y menesteroso"

Pov 31:8-9

Cómo había obviado semejante vocación?

No es solo un sueño por cumplir,

Sino la responsabilidad de vivir.

No es deseo ni anhelo,

Es dolor pero con eterno reconocimiento.

En vocación comprendo

Cada quien con su ministerio,

A cada cual el Señor dá

Conforme a su amor y bondad.

"Porque si todos fueran un solo miembro,

donde estaría el cuerpo?" 1 Cor 12:19

No olvidando lo mas importante,

Que Dios es el amor grato

De cada vida atribuyendo

Misericordia y verdad.

"Tú oirás en los cielos su oración

y su súplica, y les harás justicia"

1Rey 8:45

Y sabiendo que Dios es justo y misericordioso,

Por que no acudir a Él siempre?

Por que desperdiciar el tiempo en el Hombre?

"Y vio Dios lo que hicieron, que se convirtieron

de su mal camino; y se arrepintió del mal que había dicho

que les haría, y no lo hizo" Jonás 3:10

"Porque sabía yo que tú eres Dios clemente y piadoso,

tardo en enojarte, y de grande misericordia,

y que te arrepientes del mal"

Jonás 4:2

Y quien soy yo para aclarar lo que

No se puede esconder a los ojos?

"En el principio creó Dios los cielos y la tierra" Gen 1:1

"Mas al fin del tiempo yo Nabucodonosor alcé mis ojos al cielo, y mi sentido me fué vuelto; y bendije al Altísimo, y alabé y glorifiqué al que vive para siempre; porque su señorío es sempiterno, y su reino por todas las edades.

Y todos los moradores de la tierra por nada son contados: y en el ejército del cielo, y en los habitantes de la tierra, hace según su voluntad: ni hay quien estorbe su mano, y le diga: ¿Qué haces?

En el mismo tiempo mi sentido me fué vuelto, y la majestad de mi reino, mi dignidad y mi grandeza volvieron á mí, y mis gobernadores y mis grandes me buscaron; y fuí restituído á mi reino, y mayor grandeza me fué añadida.

Ahora yo Nabucodonosor alabo, engrandezco y glorifico al Rey del cielo, porque todas sus obras son verdad, y sus caminos juicio; y humillar puede á los que andan con soberbia." Daniel 4:34-37  

Porque todo lo que existe aún en nuestras mente

Es para gloria de Él,

Será tu propio testimonio,

Al concretar que el es Dios.

"Todo lo que Jehová quiere, lo hace,

En los cielos y en la tierra,

En los mares y en todos los abismos"

Salmos 135: 6

No te alteres,

Su presciencia es...

"Si es posible, en cuanto dependa de vosotros, estad en paz con todos los hombres"

Rom 12: 18

Date la oportunidad...

"Antes bien como está escrito;

cosas que ojo no vio, ni oído oyó,

Ni han subido en corazón de hombre,

Son las que Dios ha preparado

Para los que le aman." 1 Cor 2:9

No olvides tu propósito,

Persevera y alcanza.

"El que da testimonio de estas cosas

dice: Ciertamente vengo en breve. Amén;

sí, ven, Señor Jesús." Apoc 22:20

07-31-2008

Lidia Avilés

Unfaithful to the wrong person

Some Arabic music joined me just now,
This moment I shared with you in the mind,
This moment at midnight
that I put your words in my skin,
Wasn't a dream,
Wasn't a wish,
Just enjoying the moment
that this music brought to me.

The mixture of your image,
That barely have it in mind,
The sweet touch that barely have in my arms,
The cute smile that I never forget,
You have.

The pleasure got me today,
Thinking of that man,
Thinking how would it be if I see him again?...
I'm afraid to fall for those cares,
My words aren't exactly what used to be.

My lips asked for your lips today,
I enjoyed you so good just now,
You felt so good...
You don't need to be here,
But you know you've been preparing this land,
Isn't love,
Isn't passion...
Its just this flame,
Is just a step to Hell.

Auto service never been so attracted to me,
Till you started to push me with beautiful lyrics,
In this poem I'm just letting you know that you were here tonight,
That you'll be here every time you want.
-Am I being unfaithful to the wrong person?

As we made so clear...
This isn't the right time,
And I'm sorry to express you,
That I don't think there will be one.

But at this moment I know
what I didn't know ten years ago,
So...who knows?
And plz, just HUSH! Lol

08-24-2008
Lidia Avilés

 

Imperfectamente Perfecto

Pensé por un momento
Que éramos simplemente lo opuesto,
Pero comprendo hoy
Que es complemento.

Repetitivamente te confesé mi libertad,
Excesivamente confié en tu buena voluntad.

En tan pocos días de habernos separado,
Te he pasado pensando,
Te paso extrañando,
Te estoy anhelando.

Sin dolor ni sosiego,
Sin destrucción ni ansiedad,
Porque el amor edifica,
Y la verdad redarguye.

Sin preocupaciones del mañana,
Ni repercusiones del ayer,
Celebraciones del destino
Y modestia del saber.

Recuerdo en Ometepe cuando te confesé mi fantasía,
Tu rostro se iluminó de alegría,
Recuerdo que el Volcán Maderas aunque no está activo,
Pudo estallar si hubiese sentido en ese momento tu calor,
El lago Cocibolca se hubiese desbordado
Con cada mimo recetado.

Por un momento pretendí ignorar,
Por un momento quise llorar,
Por un momento pensé en huir,
Pero, era justo el momento
Y te recibí.

Ciertamente curaste mas que mis heridas,
Me diste tanta confianza,
Que sonreí al aceptar la esperanza.

Esos minutos y segundos inolvidables,
Hacen de vos inigualable,
Un dulce razonamiento inimitable,
Un hombre inexplicable.

Imperfectamente Perfecto,
Eso eres para mí,
Tantas veces quise conocer a alguien así de especial,
A alguien con quien realmente conversar,
A alguien a quien dar mas que un actuar,
A alguien con quien compartir la verdad.

No sabía como imaginarte,
No podría haber soñado algo tan puro,
Simplemente conocerte fue mi destino perfecto;
Eso que ya está escrito por Dios
quien es el que sabe hasta el mas íntimo pensamiento del corazón.
No tenía idea de cómo sería ese alguien,
Único, natural.
Vos!

Te extraño tanto,
Y entiendo te veré pronto,
Mi maravilloso 5 te puso en mis brazos,
Tus maravillosos besos,
Me pusieron en tus manos.

Mi maravishoso argentino soñado,
Ezequiel...
Gracias por esto besho que ha empezado.

Espero retengas con tu corazón que pase lo que pase,
Dios está buscando tu corazón mas que yo,
Así que deseo con la razón,
Que llegue el día donde te encuentres con él sin excepción.

Hasta la próxima!!

Con amor,
"Cachetitos" jaja TQMMMMMM x0x0

Posdata. No hace falta decir que te saqué de una telenovela escrita por mi para mi 

Agosto 18, 2008.
Lidia Avilés

Baby nuts Ajam

I have this friend somewhere
that push me to be a better person,
He doesn't notice how helpful he is,
I feel I'm exercising my mind every time I talk to him,
Even though I laugh and laugh every time he jokes.

His name is baby nuts,
Cause he is so funny at the same time that serious.
You never know when he is having fun
or giving you more.
I'm pretty sure I'll see him someday,
But for now,
I feel that distance is ok. Lol

Oh man,
You definitively became such a great friend,
I tell you my little stories,
Without hesitating,
And trust.

I can't tell you more than I should,
Cause our friendship is on the hills.
I assure you You'll have me forever
through the friendship you started,
I assure you oh baby,
I'm a constructive good habit 

Well my sweetie, honey, baby nuts...
I'll see you at msn,
I'll see some day,
Thanks for that love,
And much more...
Thanks for all that knowledge you share,
God knows how amazing you in my life
You have became!

08-23-2008
Lidia Avilés

Fake me

A personal poem is amazing to get,
A real feelings is weird to have,
A real person is difficult to love,
A real life is hard to find.

And here I am,
Telling you that I'm not in love as I thought,
Confessing that it was just the moment,
At the time that began;
Running away is how I am,
Running away is my natural balance.

After so long,
I finally got my throne.
After that much,
I finally feel that I'm touching the sky.

This is what I am;
Unattainable most of the time,
Modest ...barely,
I can tell I'm a good friend,
I can tell I'm a good daughter,
I can tell I'm a good sister,
I'm a good worker,
I'm not modest,
You can tell....
But I admit that I'm not a good girlfriend,
I'm not sure if I'll be a good wife.
I'm so afraid thinking how bad I can be!

So, you think I'm a good lover...
And I could be agree,
But a lover gives minutes and hours,
Don't give years or ages.

How is that I became that cruel?
Do you see me that bad?
Did you notice this before?
Is it my faith?
Is it my path?

Help!
Help...
God is here,
Is there...
Always have.

08-23-2008
Lidia Avilés

My three men

In a lonely night when the writer express
How shitty life became after a huge game,
It always happens after de glory,
The sadness come and joy goes.

I'm remembering those days of glory
To tell my self those will be back and better.
Where is my love?
How is that I spread the voice of ecstasies?

I found out that non of the men I love,
Love me at all.
How is that when they feel to loose they retain me,
But when they have me,
They throw me away with sign language!

The man I love the most is a boy still,
He is 15 years old,
And no matter what I do to him,
He till thinks I'm no worth it as a sister.

The other man I love the most,
I know him since I was born,
He had cried when I've left before so many times,
He thinks always I'm not at his side,
Even I try to prove him that I'm not against him ever.
He doesn't understand that As I love his ex wife I love him too.
But till, he never feels proud of his only daughter.

The next man I love the most,
Seems so similar to the last two.
I loved him before I met him,
But he cant understand it.
I survived a time because God sent him to rescue me,
And....he prefers to stay away.
I love him with all my heart,
But I have to deal with it....

"no men who I love the most, loves me back"

God pays better when this happens, but....
For now, I'm expressing that I wish to feel a little love from them...

Father, didn't notice me when I saved your ass from prison giving you my friendship?
Brother, didn't notice me when I intervened with your principal so you could pass the year and stay in school?
Sweetheart, didn't notice me when I stayed at home when your knee got hurt,
So you could have someone to talk with?

How's that nobody understand what they have when they have it, till they loose it?

I'll never go away,
but at a moment like this,
I wish to disappear,
As you three did.

Sweetheart, I understand that distance is important,
But I understand too, that I cant ask you to be better.

Father, I understand that I need to seed first so I can receive,
But I understand too, that I cant ask you to seed before I do.

Brother, I understand that one self is first,
But I understand too, that love is living for the others.

My men, I love you three....
But somehow you look the same for me,
You behave the same,
And act the same.

I guess Its not all about me,
So simple as living for live.
I can tell is all my fault,
But I'll never go.
As you have done.

Lidia Aviles
August 7, 2008

Once upon a time there was a girl who used to dream about the perfect boy to appear, as every other girl does.
She was at this moment 20 years old. She already had tree disappointment about human love already. She was still in love with her first love, his name was Adrian, a gorgeous Uruguayan man who was ten years older than her. Madison used to think about him all day. They met back when Madison was 16 at Massachusetts were she lived for a couple of years with her mom when her parents got separated. Madison got back to Nicaragua at age of 18 and started University , International Relations Career.

There was a lonely night in which Madison was waiting for the typical response of Adrian at myspace, where they used to have their "maybe love" long distance relationship. This day was going to be more than special. Even she was heart broken cause Adrian never made the real move, she was still deep in love and with so much hope, than some day , he was going to show up at her door and seal the love. While she was waiting for him to reply, she checked her e-mail every minute, every second if it was possible. Somehow she got so disappointed when she reads that the Sender of the new message wasn't Adrian. A new message from Brad?
-who is Brad? - man, I'll read it later. What happened if the mail box gets full? Should I erase it and that's it? ... ok, ok... Adrian is taking a long time to reply.... Lets read Brad's message.

Message said:

"Dear Kassandra, I'm traveling with one of my best friends from Mexico to Panama, some part of my trip I'm planning to stay a couple of days in Nicaragua. Is there a chance I could see you when I get there?

You can checked my profile and look the 3rd friend in my top, his name is Jack.

XOXO Brad"

So, Madison checked at Brad's profile and thought he was a model, what else can he be, with the bunch of digitalized pictures. Too bad, he was a model. At the moment she thought they needed some local help, and was ok to help them out.

-Another message from Brad? And said: " I'm sorry I called you Kassandra, I apologize"
XOXO Brad.

Madison reply with not exclusion for the local help thinking and said:
-Sure guys, It'll be nice to see you when you get in town. And when are you coming?

Brad said: - We'll arrive proximally in a couple of weeks. We are at the border from Mexico and Guatemala.

p.s. Do you have hotmail messenger?

Madison gave him her email address as he asked. And they both started the session at msn.

She felt quite overwhelmed by the situation cause this guy seems to be desperate or maybe just boring.

He started flirty at her while Madison was trying to get in a conversation to understand what was going on cause she was happy at the same time talking with an stranger. Madison noticed he felt so secure about his physical appearance, but she didn't like him that much even in web cam. Even she was having a great and funny talk.
-What a guy! (Madison thinks)

-Brad: -do you have any boyfriend in town?
-Madison: -No, Im in love with this guy who lives in MA
-Brad: what about a guy who lives in Pr?

Brad has the best sense of humor Madison could ever experienced. He made her smile the entire hour they were chatting on a web cam session. And the point was that they didn't even met before.

-Brad: I'm arriving the first week of June I think. You are gonna love me when you get to see me. I can tell
-Madison: too bad you are a model, I usually run away from models, sorry.
-Brad: are you gonna run away from me cause Im a model? Some of us aren't that bad if you get to know us.
-Madison: we'll see.
-Brad: is there something fun to do in Nicaragua?
-Madison: no, but all gets happy with a couple of drinks ;)
-Brad: I don't drink, do you?
-Madison: That's so nice to hear man. I've been trying to quit cause I had this bad experience last month in my b-day. So...
-Brad: Drinking is bad for your health, you definitively need to quit girl. I stopped all of it at the same time like a year and a have ago. Im in my idea of a healthy life all a way. I don't like to work, so I want to make money and travel without having to work. My healthy life is helping me for that dream ;)
-Madison: wow, can I go with you?
-Brad: where?
-Madison: to make money, travel and be happy?

They both laugh of the dream as it never gonna happen. They were enjoying the little moments they just shared.

-Brad: I have to go, cause the guy in charge of the cyber café is giving me a bad look, I think they are closing already, its kind of late. What time is there?
-Madison: 11 pm , there?
-Brad: about the same time. Hope to talk to you one of this days girl. Good night.
-Madison: who is gonna pick you up at the bus station?
-Brad: you will lol.
-Madison: I don't mind, but give me the time you are getting here when you get to know ok.
-Brad: ok, and how Im gonna reach you when I get in town?
-Madison: I'll send you my phone number to your myspace ok.
-Brad: ok, thank you. See you in a couple of weeks then. Bye
-Madison: bye

A new story just started tonight? What is going on?

Madison had this pray after the disaster of her b-day like a week ago and said to God:
"Oh Lord, you know I behaved really bad all this year, and I cant take it no more. I feel frustrated cause of the bed I ended up to in my b-day wasn't exactly what I planned and I know it's all my fault. I don't want this to happen ever again. Oh Lord, I have a request for you...please let me know the man you have prepare for me if the case is that I haven't met him yet which is what I prefer... I know I asked you God to know him when I get 22, but please give me a preview of my love life as you did the last January about my professional career when the president took office. God, just let me know him and see him... I don't mind if you take him away while the right moment comes and give him back to me later....I also want him to be a good influence and someone who will love you more than he gets to love me"

Madison forgot about this pray and everything else till she spoke with this stranger. She started thinking about the pray...and at the same time didn't think it was possible that way. Anyway she just avoid the idea in her mind.

June came and she remembered about Brad, that he told her that he was coming on the first week. So, she wrote to him at the msn, thinking that he will read it when he gets online.

And he got it, he told her that they were hitting Managua soon.

Madison at that moment was waiting to host a Couch surfer girl called Ana. She was the typical cultural women who likes elegant and professional dancing and also languages. Ana was on the way to Argentina, trying www.couchsurfing.com that became very popular for traveling. Madison went out with her friends as she used to. She went out for clubbing in that week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday night. On Friday she barley slept cause the party ended up at 6:00 am and at 9:00 am she was join one of her best friends to the beauty salon ... when Madison's buddy and her were waiting for the other friend to finish the beauty treatment, Madison got a call from Ana saying that she was at the bus station already. Nate, her buddy went with her to pick up Ana and took her at the beauty salon to wait for the other friend to finish.

Finally the other friend was ready and everyone could leave. Madison took Ana to her house and when She got online, Brad sent her a message saying that they were at the hotel already. Apparently they came an hour later than Ana did.
Brad started asking if they were gonna go out and what plans they had that night. Madison told him she was gonna pick them up to go for clubbing or something. Brad asked for the dress close to be sure about it. They set up the hour at 9:00 pm.

Ana and Madison got ready...but somehow Madison felt soooo tired and didn't want to go out, but she did cause she didn't want to disappoint Ana who was new in town.

They drove down to the Hotel that was so far away from Madison's house and Party places. Finally got at the Hotel, and Madison went out of the car and ask for the guys at the reception, they told her that they were coming. Madison went out next to her car waiting for the guys. She was upset they were getting to long, but suddenly they finally appear. And there they were.

Madison thought: "Oh My GOD! What an angel you sent to me Lord! Is that Brad?? He definitively look better in person...man those pictures are horrible compare to this cutie!

-Madison: Hi, nice to meet you finally.
-Brad: This is my friend Jack.
-Madison: Ok guys, lest go....

While they were in the car, Madison could notice Brad's look up to her... using the mirror to see her eyes. Madison was thinking that he looked like those typical hearth breakers of Cali. While she was admiring his persistence look, she was running away from the idea of something else. what he was thinking? Why he kept talking at his friend while was looking at her? What kind of devil was it that look like an angel?

Madison thought: I've seen those eyes before, I've seen this guy somewhere, I think I've talked to him already.... Did I dream this? What was happening?

To be continued...........

*You can check this every week, for the new chapter*

We trade the life,
We trade some habits,
We trade the health,
We trade the road.

Is it my fault that you got contaminated?
Is it my fault that your first vice of all
made you loved me once and took all the bad from me?
Is it my fault that I took your strength and use it for me?
Is it my fault that I love you so much that I'm trying to get you back in that road I found you?
Is it my fault that I made the worst mistake ever when
I changed my faith for a second of carnal glory?

I know you think that you don't need any help,
I know you think that all is your decision,
I know you think that this is just a chosen life,
I know that you think this is just my stubborn reaction.

Why ...don't you search deep inside?
Why ...don't you remember your sober thoughts?
Why... didn't you believe in this love before?
Why...don't you see you fell for a trick of Hell?

I don't see what your doing,
I don't think you are doing wrong,
I don't believe that your soul got lost,
But I know you fell for those.

I'm in a pure pain thinking of your heart,
I'm in a pure pain knowing that I knew about this before,
I'm in a pure pain praying for you to come back,
Come back to your own path,
Come back to the rich person God was preparing,
Come back to those perspectives you spoke on Sundays,
Tuesdays and Thursdays after church.
I need to apologized that I wasted our 8 months webcam sessions
Talking about our distance relationship,
Instead of giving you the signs to follow the real light.

You think our differences made me step back?
You think our distance made me loose hope?
You think what you want,
But be sure that what you want is not your choice anymore.
You gave the power to your animal instinct,
You gave your road for a couple of nights.

I heard you when you explained to me that a Vice needs
to be substituted for another vice;
I changed my alcohol for your water,
I changed the boiling boys for your love,
I changed the bad meal for your diet,
I changed my cigarettes for your talks,
I changed my money entrance for your ideas.
I changed the slavery life for God's freedom.

There is not gray spots,
You need to Pick one,
White or black.
"Nobody can't ride your back unless it's bent."
Bent your back to Jesus,
Asking to rescue,
Still have time,
This is just a passing life,
The real life is the choice we take here,
Is a request,
It's a confirmation flight ticket!
Didn't approve your self for the God's road when you tried out?
Didn't understand that without him we live for nothing?
Please notice: "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

I cant obligate you to do something,
But I could give you some ideas as you gave me more.
When I understand that I'm falling for something wrong,
I go to El Salvador where I find my grandma who gives me her knowledge about the spiritual life we need to have,
I run and ask her all I need,
I feel that there is every time like a refuge where I can put my self together,
But I keep on praying and ask God's mercy.

Read "Jonah 3:10" (bible)

When I say that I know what's gonna happen,
I only know it for the choice you take,
I only understand it when you pick black or white.
Pick white please!
I told you once about this "going to be"
And Please ask God what he wants with you!
Don't take any brake about this,
The black spot is even worst.

You don't need to listen what I'm saying,
But be sure I say it for Love.
It might sounds ridiculous about the spiritual,
But we already know that a discipline needs rules,
And rules of God are the best accomplishes of all things in life.

Lidia Aviles
July 28, 2008